Building the Village and Support You Need as a Parent
A conversation with Beth Berry about mothering in isolation and what it takes to build the community you need.
Beth Berry became a mother for the first time at 17, but it wasn’t until she got married that she understood the injustices around motherhood. As a teen mom, Beth had consistent help with her daughter because she lived with her family. Her family was a built-in village.
But when she later got married and started raising kids in a more conventional single family household, Beth struggled to show up as the kind of mother she aspired to be. That’s when she realized that being in a traditional marriage with kids was far, far more challenging. She was trying to meet all of her children’s needs on her own, within the confines of a two-parent household, and it just wasn’t possible.
“We can't afford to pretend to love motherhood. Not this version of it.” — Beth Berry, Revolution from Home
We were never meant to raise children without the support of a village.
In this episode of the Startup Parent Podcast, host
interviews author and change maker Beth Berry about motherhood and community. Today, Beth is the mom of four kids, ages 16, 18, 22 and 28 (at the time of this interview). Through decades of motherhood, Beth learned how confining the conventional single family household can be, and why we need to be in much bigger communities of support.Beth is vocal about the importance of finding other mom friends and being in community with other people. In this episode, Sarah and Beth talk about how to build deeper connections with people, the methods they have used to build their villages of mom friends, and what to do when you’re stretched past capacity. Beth is unflinchingly honest about motherhood, the necessity of connection, and the lack of supportive communities in most mother’s lives today.
If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by motherhood or parenting, or you feel completely alone in parenting and want to build a better village of support for yourself, take a listen to Episode #214 with Beth Berry.
Listen to Episode #214 of The Startup Parent Podcast anywhere you listen to podcasts.
Listen to The Startup Parent Podcast on Apple ★ Spotify ★ Google ★ Overcast ★ Castbox or wherever you listen to podcasts. Find another podcast player or the RSS feed here.
EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS
In Episode #214 of The Startup Parent Podcast, Sarah and Beth talk about:
The ideals many of us have going into motherhood, the ideas about who we want to be, and the reality of what we can actually do.
The myth of rugged individualism, and how important community belonging is—and why it benefits everybody.
What it looks like to make deeper connections and friendships, and how to be vulnerable, courageous, and honest when connecting with other people.
How vulnerability, courage, and honest communication around your own boundaries can help foster healthy connection with others.
Understanding how our longings connect us to our needs.
The power of space, personal agency, and trusting others in our parenting journey.
Embracing the seasonality of each relationship and phase of life.
Exploring your identity beyond the role of mother, father, or parent.
If you’re feeling isolated, overwhelmed, or alone, how to begin rebuilding the village you need.
There is no way you can be everything to your child. That’s the work of a village, not an individual.
Through decades of motherhood, Beth learned the difference between raising kids with the support of a village, as compared to doing it in a more conventional single family household. Being in traditional marriage with kids was far, far more challenging.
In this episode, Sarah and Beth also talk about how external systems perpetuate loneliness, and why feeling like you “never do enough” as a mother is something that so many women experience. But feeling like you can’t keep up isn’t a personal failing: there is no way to be everything to your child. That’s the work of a village, not an individual.
They also dig into why it’s so difficult to find support when you’re brand-new to parenting, how to practice vulnerability in new relationships, and how to show up for others in a genuine way so that you can build the community you need.
Listen to The Startup Parent Podcast on Apple ★ Spotify ★ Google ★ Overcast ★ Castbox or wherever you listen to podcasts. Find another podcast player or the RSS feed here.
— Sarah Peck
CEO & Founder
Startup Parent
I have 6 sons and 27 grandchildren.
I live on acreage right next to my one son, who has 8 children; 7 years to 19 years of age.
My daughter-in-luv tells me all the time that she couldn't be the mother of 8 w/o me next door.
I believe she could, but it is wonderful because they come over daily for this, that or the other.
I am able to remove stains, bandage wounds, look at wounds to determine their seriousness, etc.
I love being able to use those things that became second nature after raising all my sons.
I see my other grandchildren too, although a few live far away...with Facetime we are all blessed nowadays.